Mira to English: A Guide to Understanding My 3-Year-Old

A recent set of unforeseen circumstances recently caused us to end up needing to burden a few of our friends with our kids unexpectedly in order to respond to a minor inconvenience in the form of my heart beating really fast for two hours with no explanation for it. In the aftermath, it occurred to us that perhaps we need to do a better job of communicating to our friends and family, who may not be adequately prepped for dealing with Mira, about how to understand what Mira really says to them.  I am posting it here as well for the benefit of others as well, as it will aid in the making sense of future entries that may involve my middle child.

Translations will follow the format of Mira quotes in bold and translations in italics.
I love my baby sister!
I am about to push my baby sister over.

Can we have macaroni and cheese for lunch?
If you make macaroni and cheese for lunch, I am going to scream and throw it on the floor.

I don’t want you to ever come home AGAIN!
I missed you, and I was sad because you were gone.

I don’t want to take a nap!
Holy crap, I’m tired.

I know how to use the potty!
I’m pooping my pants right now!

We washed my blankie in the washing machine and now it’s all clean, isn’t it?
I peed on my blankie and it stinks to high heaven.

Emily hit me!
I hit Emily.

Emily hit me first!
I hit Emily, and then I bit her.

I got an owie!
I hit Emily, then Kirsten, and then Kirsten’s crying scared me.

I can’t do this by myself!/I can’t do it!
If you try to help me I will bite your fingers off, so help me God.

I want a bath.
I want to dump one or two gallons of water on the bathroom floor.

I want it! It’s mine!
Sorry, I just started paying attention to this conversation. What are we talking about?

Guess what I did today?
Would you boring old people just SHUT UP?

You’re the best daddy ever.
If you don’t give me what I’m about to ask for, you’re dead to me.

Yes.
No.

No.
NO!

NO!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Maybe.

Good night. I’m going to get some sleep, ok?
Bust out the ear plugs because I’m having a dance party at midnight and every toy is invited.

Carry me, Daddy!
I want a hug, but I’m not telling you that.

I’m going to miss you.
I love you.

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Author of over sixty children's books, as well writer of textbook materials and standardized exam text. I may have helped teach your children...

Posted in The Kids

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